


Still Untitled... Sorry

by xoxoLaurmani



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band), One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/M, Romance, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-12
Updated: 2014-03-12
Packaged: 2018-01-15 10:44:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1302031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xoxoLaurmani/pseuds/xoxoLaurmani
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lauren and Zayn see things very differently. </p>
<p>Prequel to this fic http://archiveofourown.org/works/1184057</p>
<p>**Sorry for the ugly link.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Still Untitled... Sorry

“Stop!” Lauren yells trying to cover her face. She’s just woken up and her boyfriend is hovering around her with a Polaroid camera, her Polaroid camera. “Zayn, get that thing out of my face. I look gross!”

She pulls the covers over her head and soon feels him trying tug them off.

“You don’t look gross and I need these photos.”

“For?” Lauren’s voice is still muffled beneath the blanket.

“This new piece I’m working on. I’m trying to capture you totally vulnerable and natural. What better time than first thing in the morning?”

“Yeah, when I look like shit. Go away!” She yells pulling the covers tighter. Zayn lets out a sigh and Lauren assumes that he’s given up.

“Fine. I guess you don’t the breakfast I just made either.”

Food?! Hell yeah she wants food. Confident that the camera is now gone Lauren throws the covers off of her to get out of the bed and get the food. She hopes he made omelets.

FLASH! She’s temporarily blinded but her ears work fine and she can hear Zayn laughing.

“Babe, you should have just let me take the cute, sleepy pictures but now I have this. I think I’ll call the painting _Lauren Jauregui or Deer in the Headlights; the World May Never Know._ ”

Lauren pounces on Zayn knocking him down onto the bed and also knocking the wind out of him. They laugh and tussle over the camera for a bit until Zayn leans down and kisses her. Suddenly the camera becomes the last thing on either of their minds.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lauren and Zayn met freshman year of college and have been inseparable ever since. They were that artsy couple that everyone hated but secretly adored and wished they could be like. You’d catch them sitting him the park working on their respective crafts or just lying in the grass talking to each other. If it wasn’t their relationship they’d both complain about how cheesy and cliché it was, but it was theirs so that made it ok.

It is a few months after graduation and the two are living together in a shitty New York City apartment. It’s cozy and theirs so neither mind that much. They both work menial part time jobs to support themselves while trying to find careers in their fields, which turn out to be not as easy as either imagined it to be. Lauren is taking it a bit harder than Zayn.

“We’re sorry to inform you that we’ve decided on another candidate for the position. Thanks for your interest blah blah blah” Lauren reads yet another rejection email out loud, putting on a brave face although all she really wants to do is cry. This is the third one this week.

Zayn looks up from his sketch pad and gives her a sympathetic look. He puts it down and gets up off the couch and makes his way over to where she’s sitting at the little table that she’s turned into a makeshift writing desk. Zayn put drapes his arms over her shoulders and whispers in her ear, “It’s alright. We’re gonna be alright.”

Lauren scoffs, “Easy for you to say. I don’t see you being bombarded with rejection notices.” She shakes loose from his grasp and pulls up Google to search for more job listings. “Sometimes I don’t think you’re even trying.”

“Well if you noticed anything besides yourself you would see that I do try very hard. Jobs in the art community aren’t just falling from the sky either, you know? On top of that I had to pick up more shifts at work to cover your part of the bills so you can have more time to look for something better. So don’t start with me.” Zayn says hotly as he walks back to the couch and starts sketching furiously.

Lauren feels bad. She knows that she’s being an asshole to Zayn. It’s hard not to lash out at the people around and to be honest Zayn is the only person around; and he has been the only one for almost five years now. She feels really bad.

Closing her laptop and rising from her chair, Lauren makes her way over to Zayn. She knows that he knows that she’s standing in front of him but he’s ignoring her and he has every right to.

“Zayn.” She says and doesn’t get any response, he’s still sketching. So she sits down and presses very close to him and tries again.

“Zayn.”

Not a word but he does move away a bit. Lauren lets out a sigh and takes the sketchpad out of his hand. He lets it go without objection. She takes that as an invitation to crawl into his lap and wrap her arms around him. She buries her face into his neck and inhales deeply, he always smells so good. Face to covered she says, “I’m sorry.”

Lauren lifts her head and looks him the eye, “I know you’re trying. I’m just frustrated that it’s not working out the way we planned. We were supposed to have careers by now. We were supposed to be happy.” This entire time she has been trying to hold it in but she lets the tears fall from her eyes now. That makes Zayn’s expression soften and he holds her as well.

“But we are happy. I know we don’t have much and it could be better but we’re getting by and we’re together. That’s all that matters.” Zayn tries to console her but she continues to cry. She wants to believe him but she just can’t.

“How about I go get some take out from that Chinese place you love from up the block? Would that make you happy for at least a little bit?” He jokes and Lauren gives him watery –eyed smile and nods. He kisses her and gets up to get the phone to order.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lauren is in her and Zayn’s favorite coffee shop. She decided to meet him there and treat him to a small lunch. He deserves it, especially since she acted like such a bitch to him last night. She arrived early so while waiting she decided to Skype call her cousin in California, Camila, to catch up on how she’s doing.

Camila moved there a few years ago to attend UCLA and she loves it. She’s always sending Lauren pictures of palm trees and the beach. Both of them are originally from Miami so Lauren could see how Camila has adapted so well. Lauren misses the warm air and the beaches too. Camila is in her final year of university and Lauren is just asking how everything is going.

“It’s all going pretty good. I always thought senior year would be stressful but it’s chill. The only thing I’m really worried about is that I’m not going to see my friends all the time and my roommate is moving out after graduation.” Camila says her face turning into a small frown when she starts to talk about her friends.

Lauren remembers when that’s all that worried her about ending school as well. Poor Camz is in for a rude awakening.

“So what about jobs? Are you gonna get a quick retail job until you get something in your field?” Lauren asks prepared to tell her little cousin how hard it is after school.

“I would but I actually have a few things lined up. I have an internship I’m doing now and few places have offered to give me interviews after I get my degree. So that’s pretty cool.” Camila says nonchalantly.

Pretty cool? Lauren would kill for _pretty cool_ right about now. She’s very happy for Camila but she can’t help the pang of jealousy that is bubbling beneath the surface.

“That’s awesome, Camz! I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks!” Camila smiles brightly. “So what’s going on with you? Will I be picking up your first novel soon?”

Lauren laughs a bit. She’s told Camila time and time again that she wants to write for magazines and be a journalist.

“No, not yet. Apparently, all the New York magazine companies are either all fully staffed or are looking for people who aren’t me.” She tries to keep her voice light but she can tell that Camila knows it’s bothering her.

“It must be easier sailing here because my friend Demi, who graduated last year, has an entry level job editing for Entertainment Weekly. And she had other offers as well.” Camila’s face lit up with an idea, “Move to LA and be my roommate! The job market is easier and I won’t be alone, it works out for everyone.”

“Yeah, everyone but Zayn. I can’t leave him. That sounds great and I really appreciate you trying to help but I can’t do that.” Lauren declines.

“Ah yes, Zayn. Well it was just a thought.” Camila check the time on her phone, “Oh shoot, gotta go before I’m late to my next class. Love you Lo and send Zayn my love as well.”

Lauren sees Zayn walking up the street so the timing is pretty perfect. “I love you too, Camila. Talk to you later.”

She closes her laptop just as Zayn walks through the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To say that Lauren’s day has been shitty would be an understatement. Being a waitress is always a pain in the ass, but add rude customers on top of that Lauren wants to stab herself in the face. All day she’s been running around like a chicken with her head cut off doing things for people who will never appreciate it.

The entire time at work she fantasized about a nice hot bubble bath and a good book and that’s exactly what she’s going to do.

She gets home about two hours before Zayn’s shift is supposed to end. So she goes into the kitchen and puts the two steaks that she has marinating in a pan and tosses them in the oven at a low enough temperature so they won’t burn while she’s in the bath. She’ll think of a side dish when she gets out.

Lauren runs her bath water and puts way more bubbles than necessary but she feels entitled to them after the day she had. With the bath water ready she now looks for a towel. She remembers that laundry day is tomorrow and there aren’t any clean ones. Just as she’s about to suck it up and use a dirty one she remembers that Zayn, being the clean freak that he is, sometimes hides clean ones at the top back corner of the closet for this very occasion. She gets chair and start to climb up there.

After moving a shoe box or two out of the way Lauren finds what she’s looking for; two towels tucked away in the back. She yanks at ones but something else flies out of the closet with it. Upon further inspection after she has descended from the chair she sees that it’s a little velvet box, a ring box. An engagement ring?

Lauren’s hand shakes as she opens the box. Nestled inside is a very nice solitaire diamond on a platinum band. She knows that she should be happy right now. The man she loves is planning on proposing to her, he wants them to spend the rest of their lives together. But all she can think is “ _How the fuck did he afford this?_ ”

Zayn always talked about the future and those talks always involved marriage and children. Things Lauren thought were far off for them. She was thinking about tomorrow, not five years from now and they weren’t going to get married anytime soon. Or at least that’s what she thought.

Lauren’s mind starts to race. She can barely handle being an adult but soon she’s going to have to cope with being someone’s wife? She’s remembers that she’s not supposed to have seen the ring so she puts it and the towels back the way she found them and just grabs a used one from the hamper.

Forget reading the book in the bath, Lauren has a lot to think about.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zayn comes home just as Lauren is finishing up dinner. He kisses her and tells her the food smells good before going to get washed up for dinner. It feels like something a husband would do and Lauren’s stomach does a little flip.

They eat in silence until Lauren can’t take it anymore. She needs to see where Zayn’s head is at when it comes to their future.

“Hey, so… I was thinking about the stuff we used to say back in college. Like getting a studio apartment in Soho and getting married when we’re thirty-ish.” Lauren prods and Zayn huffs a laugh.

“Yeah, we were weirdly specific.” He says taking a sip from his glass of wine.

“Were? Is that not still the plan?” Lauren asks.

“We can’t exactly afford a new apartment right now.” Zayn says and Lauren bites her tongue from bringing up him being able to afford engagement rings.

“And getting married in our thirties? After we’ve explored a bit?” She asks hoping he doesn’t get suspicious.

“Explored what? We live in one of the greatest cities in the world, every day is an adventure. I always thought thirty was a roundabout number. Maybe we’re on an accelerated plan. “ He smirks and if Lauren didn’t already know about the engagement ring that would have made her suspicious.

She lets the conversation drop and Zayn launches into a story about a conversation that he had with his father earlier in the day.

Later that night after Zayn had fallen asleep, Lauren’s mind raced. She thought of life if she chooses to accept Zayn’s proposal. First it’ll start off with the engagement, shortly followed by the wedding. And although they’ll try to hold off kids will come and all their dreams will be blown. There goes back packing through Europe. Lauren feels Zayn would be perfectly fine with that but she wouldn’t, she couldn’t and she would resent him.

She thought about the alternative, accepting Camila’s offer to go to California. The warm are surrounding her as she works on her latest article sitting on the beach and occasionally looking up to see the Pacific Ocean greet the shore. That was the life she wanted.

She eased out of bed, grabbed her phone and walked out into the living area. California is three hours behind NY so she didn’t feel bad calling Camila at this hour. The phone rings a few times and her cousin answers.

“Hey Lauren, isn’t it like two in the morning over there?” Camila says.

“Yeah but I needed to talk to you as soon as possible. I’m coming to LA.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two weeks later Zayn walks into an empty apartment after a long day at work. He had a particularly hilarious customer that he couldn’t wait to rant to Lauren about but was surprised to come home and she wasn’t there. He thought nothing of it at first, maybe she went to the store. He thought that until he saw the note on her writing desk.

_Dear Zayn,_

_I’m sorry that you had to find out this way but I’ve gone to LA and I’m not coming back. I knew that if I told you about this you wouldn’t have let me go so I had to figure out a way that would hurt less. Right now it seems selfish of me but we want different things and I think I’m giving you the opportunity to find that with someone else. Please don’t think that I don’t love you because I do, with all of my heart. But this is something I have to do for the both of us. Right now you probably hate me and I understand. I’m sorry._

_Love Always, Lauren_

Zayn sat and read the note over and over again and every time was a fresh stab to the heart.


End file.
